Category: Just for Fun

When the meeting is going on and on and on and everyone needs to repeat what everyone has already said several times:

“No cat is ever flat enough to not run over again.”

Society is constantly in a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Rick Cook

Why there isn’t mouse flavored cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a “new & improved” flavor?

Why Goofy stands erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

Why you have to click on “Start” to stop ‘Windows’?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency.

The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.

Bill Gates

A female patient in Casper Wyoming is reported to have said to her dentist, “I’d rather go to the dentist that have a baby.”

A patient in Detroit told his hygienist, “I know my gums bleed when you clean my teeth because my gums are inflamed. I could prevent that with better brushing and flossing.”

A man in Charlotte, NC told his dentist. ” I am amazed how affordable modern dentistry is considering your immense overhead costs. I know you just make a small fraction of the fee as profit.”

A patient in San Diego told the front desk administrator that she knows her insurance only pays a portion of basic services and she would gladly pay the balance.

Why toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why you don’t ever see the headline: “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why “abbreviated” is such a long word?

Why you have to click on “Start” to stop ‘Windows’?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, than who is the fool who said, “Quit while you’re ahead”?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

Useless but interesting:

Arch supports were created by Konrad Birkenstock in 1897.  He designed shoes that followed the shape of the foot so that comfort would increase. The basic design revolutionized the footwear industry.

Dimpled golf balls travel up to four times farther than smooth-surfaced golf balls. In the early days, smooth-surfaced balls were used until golfers discovered that old, bumpy balls traveled longer distances. The science of aerodynamics explains the phenomenon. The dimples reduce the drag on a golf ball by redirecting air pressure behind the golf ball rather than in front of it, changing the levels of pressure by bringing the main airstream very close to the surface of the golf ball. This high-speed airstream near the ball increases the amount of pressure behind the ball, thereby forcing the ball to travel farther.

According to the Detroit Free Press, 68 percent of professional hockey players have lost at least one tooth.

Especially relevant for 2020

Don’t you wish when life is bad

and things just don’t compute,

That all we really had to do

was stop and hit reboot?

Things would all turn out OK,

life could be so sweet

If we had those special keys

Ctrl, Alt, and Delete

Your boss is mad, your bills not paid,

your wife, well she’s just mute

Just stop and hit those wonderful keys

that make it all reboot

You’d like to have another job

but you fear living in the street?

You solve it all and start a new,

Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.

Author Unknown