Category: Just for Fun

HT Jason Lipscomb

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
4. Google Map directions really needs to start on # 5.  I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
5. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
6. Bad decisions make good stories.
7. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
8. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
9. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
10. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

Most businesses have customers. The only ones that have “users” are software vendors and drug dealers.

A Smile

Costs nothing but creates much.

Enriches those who receive,
Without impoverishing those who give.

Happens in a flash
And the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

None are so rich that they can get along without it,
And none are so poor but are richer for a smile.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen,
for it is something that is no earthly good to anyone until it is given away.

Beware of bargains in Parachutes, Brain Surgery and Dentistry.

Brushing and mouthwash use plummet as people realize that other people can not smell your bad breath on Zoom.

TP and bottled water futures crashed after people in lock down reported the water system still working and no detectable increase in bathroom related activities.

Dental insurance companies rush to pay up on stalled claims and to pay top dollar for tele dental visits immediately in order to maintain minimal cash flow to shut down dental offices. (You know this is an April fools joke, don’t you?)

And just like that being anti-social became social-distancing.

Administrators develop innovative plan to combat Covid-19 with “No Virus Zone” signs paired with the hashtag #notmyvirus.

Social scientists launch exciting new study looking into the simultaneous shortage of toilet paper and increased hand washing. Hmmm.

Political opponents denounce early intervention, reduction in red tape to fast track testing, travel restrictions, appeal to the private sector for help, loans to business in order to continue making payroll and possible drug interventions to treat covid-19 all because they were promoted by the other side. No joke, they actually did this on days other than April 1.