A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify: I put ‘DOCTOR.’
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.