News You Can Use for April 1, 2013

by Larry Emmott on April 1, 2013

in Just for Fun

toothacheDentaZap is available for immediate delivery. It is a tiny remote sensor that can be placed within the confines of a dental filling. When activated the device delivers a painful jolt to the person’s tooth.  DentaZap can be triggered manually or linked to an online service designed to activate the device whenever the patient fails an appointment or has a balance over 60 days past due.

The National Dental Hygiene Association has filed a federal unfair labor action in response to a recommendation from dental leaders endorsing independent dental hygiene practices. After reviewing the regulations, taxes, liabilities and soon to be mandated health care expenses required of a professional practice the hygienist society reacted with horror. “Oh no you don’t” they shrieked, “you can’t do that too us we refuse to leave.”

Beta Dental and Inequitable are offering a new low cost dental plan. Participating dentists will receive nothing in payment for services but will be able to make it up with increased volume.

Periodontal disease is the leading cause of tooth loss in adults over 40. The administration claims this is a result of sequestration cuts.

Facebook has once again changed their privacy and disclosure policies. The new default privacy setting or the “Full Monty” will go into effect next week. (Breaking News: The policy was already put into effect last week and you just weren’t told.) Users can opt out of the Full Monty for the Fig Leaf level of privacy by following a simple 52 step process.

Spinoma, the leading maker of high tech 3D digital systems for dentistry announced that none of their systems: radiographs, impressions, cat scans, lab devices, milling machines and all the rest would work with merge or exchange data with any device from any other company. This policy effectively keeps all users as prisoners within the Spinoma system. Spinoma claims this is in the best interests of the dentist. No joke, they actually say that on days other than April 1.

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