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Just for Fun

News you can use for April 1, 2020

Brushing and mouthwash use plummet as people realize that other people can not smell your bad breath on Zoom.

TP and bottled water futures crashed after people in lock down reported the water system still working and no detectable increase in bathroom related activities.

Dental insurance companies rush to pay up on stalled claims and to pay top dollar for tele dental visits immediately in order to maintain minimal cash flow to shut down dental offices. (You know this is an April fools joke, don’t you?)

And just like that being anti-social became social-distancing.

Administrators develop innovative plan to combat Covid-19 with “No Virus Zone” signs paired with the hashtag #notmyvirus.

Social scientists launch exciting new study looking into the simultaneous shortage of toilet paper and increased hand washing. Hmmm.

Political opponents denounce early intervention, reduction in red tape to fast track testing, travel restrictions, appeal to the private sector for help, loans to business in order to continue making payroll and possible drug interventions to treat covid-19 all because they were promoted by the other side. No joke, they actually did this on days other than April 1.