I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
Google Map directions really needs to start on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
Bad decisions make good stories.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
