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- Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
- Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
- Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to shop.
- Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
- Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
- Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.
- The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
- Don’t worry that the world ends today; its already tomorrow in Australia!